A lot of times we list being content as being financially comfortable, or without challenges in life. And we spend so much time
and do so many things trying to achieve this state of being. It is said to be the highest most profound moment of being where everything is just perfect!!!
Sometimes, a rare moment hits you, you feel content, and you look around you hoping to pinpoint the reason for this rare feeling. You look around hoping to find what has been described as contentment. And you don’t see any of these list items in your contentment moment. To the contrary, there’s a financial challenge here and there, imperfection everywhere. You find that what you are constantly doing is to panel-beat these imperfections, and you start doubting the contentment you are experiencing whether perhaps this is not it; you are being delusional.
This could just be that what is inspiring the contentment doesn’t look like what it should based on the list you have compiled as a definition of contentment.
What about the moment when you are talking with someone from the past, and all of a sudden they arouse a different feeling in you? You were so hung up on them for so long you even thought of the most absurd freak accidents that could happily befall once and for all. For months you couldn’t stop replaying the events that transpired when the cord was cut. Never mind all those times you thought of making the phone call and somehow you knew very well that it will leave you broken into a million pieces, and yet you still couldn’t resist closing your eyes while pressing dial hoping they will not answer and guess what, it’s your lucky day because they will pick up or rather is it the worst day of your life? Making a fool of yourself to this idiot who doesn’t even have a frikkin clue what you’re going through????
Well, when a moment comes after a while and the phone rings. And it comes another time again, and again and again. And instead of swallowing your tongue and heart trying so hard NOT to sound startled; chuckling to yourself trying not to sound stupid or bored; you actually enjoy a decent convo. And surprising enough, the heart doesn’t pulpate to an almost heart attack. For the first time in a long time you acknowledge and remember all the good things that happened. and somehow the bad stuff doesn’t hurt anymore.
Most importantly, you don’t want any of it for yourself anymore. Their purpose in your life is done. Several new chapters have opened up. Lessons have been learnt. The heart is in peace. You are content with you and yourself and your life without them or with them from a distance. Should they care to be there. There are no intentions to rekindle the flame, just a hala from one person to another. Either way, life is good, with all it’s imperfections.
And you are content, in the strangest of ways, but the greatest none the less.
That for me, is one of many perfect moments of contentment.