I do, or do I?? the single 30 something dilemma

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How likely is it that when one says they just want time to be with themselves and nurture that and not get into a relationship, ever just about that? And it’s not the fact that we might just be trying to find a way to cope with being on our own and maximise the time constructively. Not that if “prince charming” (the dream guy) cropped up and had everything in your list, you would turn them down based on “I’m still attending me” line.

Or maybe just the fear of repeating history you don’t wanna relive is hindering you to be open to the idea that having hope and putting yourself out there is not so bad either.

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This is my observation.

The older the potential bride, the less reluctant and likely they are to get married.

The thing is, at age 30 and above you have set goals for yourself. You know exactly what you want and most times it becomes impossible to neither change nor adjust those to accommodate someone else’s.

Marriage by nature was made such that the man practically figures himself out and the woman fits into that configuration that has been designed and set by the man.

When you as a woman, a fully grown woman who has managed to figure things out for yourself without a man, have to now squeeze into the man’s configuration, it gets challenging and most times leaves you with a hundred ex’s.

A woman that marries young figures herself out within the marriage and plans her life around the configuration. Their set values and principles are moulded around and by the commitment they have made to each other.

So what happens to the older potential bride?

Do you give up your own dreams and plans and values for the sake of having someone and reconfigure yourself into the man’s plan?

Or do you stick to your own and spend the rest of your life in the dating scene, trying to find the one guy who is willing to take you as you are with all that you have and hope for, and make it work?

Or, do you build yourself a mansion, fill it up with all things beautiful God and man made, fulfil your wildest dreams and desires and live your life happily single ever after?

Or, do you become a nun and forget about ever touching a human being other than their hand?

mmhhhhmmmmmmm….

I would love to hear some views on this one.

Penny for your thoughts?

Cravings… of a different kind

pexels-photo-46024.jpegCravings

Let’s talk about cravings. Women have been known to have the weirdest of cravings!! Its starts with PMS, just before that time of the month you find yourself craving all sorts of food you don’t normally think about during the month.

When you fall pregnant, one of the first indicators and changes that a woman experiences is the change in food interests. You crave the weirdest concoctions and unusual foods. Its normal, women experience these at some point in their lives.

The craving that has me typing away this time is a different kind of a craving. I have rarely experienced this before, and no woman openly admits to having these kinds of cravings. This has come about as a result of my all-of-a-sudden single status. I have never been married, but for as long as I started dating I have always had “someone”. The significance of that someone has varied from occasional flings, friends with benefits, and boyfriends. They always overlap and there is at least one kind in the picture. They always fulfilled this need. I am not talking about being horny, no.

Then there was that someone special, that you think will stick around for a while, and he left. And my closet was clean, nothing whatsoever. All of a sudden I am craving, a man to sleep next to me. Just sleep, no cushy business, just sleep, and wake up next to me. My son has been sleeping in my bed, but I have chased him out of my bed, I want a man. That will wake up next to me. That is my craving. And there is nobody to fulfil it.

Why has nobody told me there are such cravings??? How do I fulfil them?